Reclaim Your Peace With This Guide to Setting Boundaries
Setting boundaries is an idea that sounds like a breath of fresh air, but when it comes time to apply it, hesitation sets in, making the search for peace a little more complicated and awkward.
In her debut book, “Set Limits, Find Peace: A Guide to Recovering Yourself, Nedra Glover Tawwab, a relationship expert and founder of Kaleidoscope Counseling, composes personal and professional narratives, supported by research to clarify what the real limits are and how supporting yourself leads to peace in your daily life.
Photo by Ariel Perry
«When I talk about boundaries, I’m talking about what defines your relationship. What makes you feel safe, comfortable. and what are the parameters for your specific relationship? Tawwab says, “In my practice, I began to see these patterns around our inability to ask for what we wanted in a relationship – be it partnership, family, friendships, work – and a lot of people showed up. , shocked, depressed and unhappy about the lack of boundaries. ”
Tawwab points out that saying “no” is only a small part of managing healthy boundaries, and that there is more to it than just the art of self-advocacy and the tone of your peace. “It also asks for what you want, applying consequences, saying things that make you feel better, without overloading your schedule,” he says.
And for that sense of guilt and emotional turmoil that comes with setting boundaries, Tawwab shares that it’s a sign that you care and are compassionate about the situation.
«There is no limit to guilt. “If you set a limit and feel very bad about it, it’s really helpful to learn some guilt management techniques.” “When you feel like that, how do you convince yourself that you are doing the right thing? How do you rely more on your self-care practices? ”
Listen: The Nedra Glover Tawwab talks about the steps you can take to build healthy relationships with yourself and others.
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